It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
you never un-have a 4some
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
