I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
