piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
