Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
