he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize