i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm both gender and math confused
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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