What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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