i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
