Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
