today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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