we're blogging at a bar
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
