Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
third nipple confirmed
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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