oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
