Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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