Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
