About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
