This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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