She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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