My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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