you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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