ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
