Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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