what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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