yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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