her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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