And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
