well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
