your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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