I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
