I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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