Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
