he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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