I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
