How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
