I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
