He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
