You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
