I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
