I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
