What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
