just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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