just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
