Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
