What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
The air taste purple.
Randomize
