Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
