We won't sleep together?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
too bad you live with your parents still
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
so much tequila, so little girl.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
