So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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