plz talk dirty to me
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
