My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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