You're completely useless in the revolution.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize
