A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
