I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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